Monthly Archives: July 2013

Euphoric Recall…

Hey! Welcome to 52 weeks until I’m 50 years old! Actually it’s now 28 weeks until I’m 50! If you are new to my blog, to the right are other subjects I’ve written. Some may resonate with you or at least give you a chuckle. If you are counting down with me…Wow! I can’t believe how fast the weeks are flying and I’m so glad you are still with me!

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Ever heard of euphoric recall? Better yet, ever had it? Not sure? Let me explain just in case you aren’t sure. If you now what I mean…you’ll take a deep breath and think…yes, been there! Euphoric recall is when you remember all the positive experiences associated with a person, place or thing rather than the negative experiences. I found it rather eerie that I started to write a blog about this and found a fellow blogger did the same. He stated, “I don’t know whether it is the moon cycle, or if some planet is in retrograde, or WTF is going on, but it seems that everyone in my life is suffering from euphoric recall right now.” I find that true in my life as well.

Heading toward my 50th birthday, I’ve looked back more than a few times to see what I thought I may have left behind, friendships I didn’t attend to and what I may have blown up along the way! I am a fairly low maintenance kind of girl. I don’t require very much in the way of “needing” from others. I believe that almost all of my meaningful relationships are very balanced. I also have some really fantastic acquaintances that are working at becoming great friends. I tease some of my text buds, specifically one, that she’s hanging out with the “competition” when I don’t hear from her. The tease is based on her consistency. When she isn’t consistent, I text that and we have a laugh. The “competition” is another friend of hers that I actually have as an acquaintance and am quite fond of. Sometimes I struggle though. I don’t spend time on superficial relationships or at a surface level. I’ve never been good at that. I wear my feelings on my sleeve…and on my face so that really doesn’t work. Plus, I am blatantly honest. So, if you plan on being one of my friends or in my inner circle, there’s a level of consistent work involved. I make that pretty clear as you learn me, that way you know what you are signing on for in advance. And, it’s OK if you don’t want to sign on. I totally understand and appreciate when a bud makes it clear that they can’t play at that level. It doesn’t happen often but sometimes it does. Recently one of my long time friends that I call a “go2″ called me on something. He mentioned that I’ve drifted a bit and that we don’t hang out enough. I owned it and promised to do the work he expected from me. Ouch! We discussed expectations and I shared that I wondered if I ask for too much out of friendships.  He stated very clearly something I found profound at that moment. “Randi, you get what you put up with.”

I decided in my early 40′s that I wasn’t going to spend time on relationships where the other person wasn’t working on it with me. Granted sometimes one person works more than the other and vice-verse. As my fellow blogger stated, “I’m all for “forgive and forget” but euphoric recall can be a dangerous phenomenon.” People come and go out of our lives for reasons. And that’s truly OK sometimes. And when they return sometimes…it’s even better! I have a few incredible friendships that have evolved with old high school friends. I did have euphoric recall on those and they have evolved into deeper, more honest friendships. What a gift that’s been! To reconnect with someone who knows the old you at 14 and still likes the old you at 49.5! They can threaten to show old, goofy pictures of you with big purple hair and white go-go boots! How my Mom let me walk out of the house, I have really no clue!

A few other friendships haven’t panned out quite as well. On those, each time I’ve taken a deeper look into myself, I have found that I’ve ignored some of my own rules. You know…the equivalent of “fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” Fool me three times…I am just a freakin idiot! But it happens. Sometimes we remember something in a sparkleee way that just wasn’t so. And your friends and family will say…”remember that time when …or did you forget out this?” You look at them and have so many awesome reasons why that person, place or thing was absolutely innocent. Let’s face it,  If we need help learning the same lesson over and over again, our Universe is more than happy to provide us with that opportunity.

Lesson learned, probably not. I’m still a work in progress. Trying to be a better version of myself everyday. I’ve kept myself in check, and my friends do that also with me. Occasionally I drift back and wonder…and then I remind myself…I’m right where I am supposed to be. So, if you find yourself drifting off…do as I do, LOL! Remind yourself when you do the euphoric recall thing to bitch slap yourself or give permission to another to do so! LOL!

Thanks for visiting and I hope you had a chuckle. You can subscribe to be notified when I blog below by signing up, follow me on Twitter @GatorgirlPress or Twitter @Diningduchess, follow me on Facebook @RandiAileenPress or Facebook@DiningDuchess. Or if you’d like to write me directly, my email is randi@52TO50.com.

 

 

Proud To Be…

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Hey! Welcome to 52 weeks until I’m 50 years old! Actually it’s now 30 weeks until I’m 50! If you are new to my blog, to the right are other subjects I’ve written. Some may resonate with you or at least give you a chuckle. If you are counting down with me…Wow! I can’t believe how fast the weeks are flying and I’m so glad you are still with me!

I am more certain than ever that people want to relate to one another. A few weeks ago I returned from 17 days in Europe. I visited Italy, Turkey and Greece. In preparation, I had studied up on the three languages and was armed with my little black book of phrases for each city we were visiting. I find that even if I try a little to speak the language, that goes a long way with the people. In Rome, my husband and I jumped on a trolley to visit the Vatican. Unlike many other cities abroad, there weren’t any visuals that illustrated where we had begun and where to exit for the Vatican. We asked out loud, “Can anyone tell us what stop the Vatican is?” Not a single person answered. We asked a little louder. We heard a response with directions to help us out. It was in English, not Italian. Three of us start to hysterically laugh as we realized that two Americans are receiving directions in Rome to the Vatican from an Irishman. And so our adventure begins with a good laugh as always.

While traveling on the trolley ride back to our neighborhood in Roma, we had lively interaction with four Italian women. I can call it dialogue but it was more like hand gestures, sharing iPhone videos and pictures to communicate. The mother asked if we were American. We answered yes. When she  realized we weren’t from England, she acted out a funny imitation of an English woman. We all chuckled. We asked where she was from and she proudly answered “Sicily.” I broke out an iPhone video of my buddy singing while making pizza. I told her he was Sicilian. Her eyes lit up. We asked one another about musicians, movie stars and the president. It was hilarious. The same type of interaction followed for the next two weeks. Wherever I was, when I asked a person about their home country, the answers were similar. “My homeland is the most beautiful as are the people.” Stojan from Serbia glowed when he spoke about home and the women. Our guide from Istanbul shared his love of Turkey even though there were demonstrations while we visited. Joanna from Mykonos glowed as she bragged about her mother’s location for 40 years being the best in Greece. She wouldn’t bargain and mentioned we would remember her and the quality of the clothes because they were the “best!” She was right. I did. A street vendor in Capri was sure to tell me that I will never see a more beautiful place in all the world then the Isle of Capri. I am convinced he could be correct.

Ten years ago I ran the Marine Corp Marathon. I ran it because I wanted to pass all the monuments on the race course. I also wanted to run along side of men and women who continually guard my freedom. I love DC and the way I feel when I am surrounded by history. I love my country.  I realize that more each time I return to her. Five years ago I finally visited Lady Liberty. I was blown away with her beauty. Seeing the Statue of Liberty as you arrive via ferry is overwhelming. She’s absolutely breathtaking. Many Americans have never visited her. I have visited Niagara Falls, one of the most beautiful wonders of the world. The power of the water is incredible to watch and listen to while breathing in the beauty. All of our National Parks, the Grand Canyon and the Hoover Dam are extraordinary. The California Pacific Coast Highway is a must see. Try driving around the Appalachian Mountains for a trip along the scenic Blue Ridge Parkway, which runs through Virginia, North Carolina and into Tennessee. There are 469 miles, the drive connects two national parks—Great Smoky Mountains National Park in Tennessee and Shenandoah National Park in Virginia. What a time you will have breathing in the beauty and the fresh air. There is Red Rock in Arizona. No words describe that. There’s so much to see here! The Golden Gate Bridge, Ellis Island, Mount Rushmore, the Liberty Bell, the Washington Monument and Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool just to share a few. I am in awe of the United States and all her beauty. Sometimes we forget. We get caught up in all that’s wrong with the system, politics and the never-ending minutia we hear. But today, take a moment to step back with me. Breathe in our beautiful country…All of our liberties. Know that being free is so much bigger than we realize sometimes. The cost has been huge. I am grateful for so many things. Today and for many more, Let Freedom Ring.

O beautiful for spacious skies, For amber waves of grain, For purple mountain majesties above the fruited plain…America! America! God shed his grace on thee and crown thy good with brotherhood
from sea to shining sea! America! America! God shed his grace on thee and crown thy good with brotherhood from sea to shining sea! Wishing you a safe and peaceful 4th of July.

Thanks for visiting and I hope you had a chuckle. You can subscribe to be notified when I blog below by signing up, follow me on Twitter @GatorgirlPress or Twitter @Diningduchess, follow me on Facebook @RandiAileenPress or Facebook@DiningDuchess. Or if you’d like to write me directly, my email is randi@52TO50.com.