Hey! Welcome to 52 weeks until I’m 50 years old! Actually it’s now 28 weeks until I’m 50! If you are new to my blog, to the right are other subjects I’ve written. Some may resonate with you or at least give you a chuckle. If you are counting down with me…Wow! I can’t believe how fast the weeks are flying and I’m so glad you are still with me!
Ever heard of euphoric recall? Better yet, ever had it? Not sure? Let me explain just in case you aren’t sure. If you now what I mean…you’ll take a deep breath and think…yes, been there! Euphoric recall is when you remember all the positive experiences associated with a person, place or thing rather than the negative experiences. I found it rather eerie that I started to write a blog about this and found a fellow blogger did the same. He stated, “I don’t know whether it is the moon cycle, or if some planet is in retrograde, or WTF is going on, but it seems that everyone in my life is suffering from euphoric recall right now.” I find that true in my life as well.
Heading toward my 50th birthday, I’ve looked back more than a few times to see what I thought I may have left behind, friendships I didn’t attend to and what I may have blown up along the way! I am a fairly low maintenance kind of girl. I don’t require very much in the way of “needing” from others. I believe that almost all of my meaningful relationships are very balanced. I also have some really fantastic acquaintances that are working at becoming great friends. I tease some of my text buds, specifically one, that she’s hanging out with the “competition” when I don’t hear from her. The tease is based on her consistency. When she isn’t consistent, I text that and we have a laugh. The “competition” is another friend of hers that I actually have as an acquaintance and am quite fond of. Sometimes I struggle though. I don’t spend time on superficial relationships or at a surface level. I’ve never been good at that. I wear my feelings on my sleeve…and on my face so that really doesn’t work. Plus, I am blatantly honest. So, if you plan on being one of my friends or in my inner circle, there’s a level of consistent work involved. I make that pretty clear as you learn me, that way you know what you are signing on for in advance. And, it’s OK if you don’t want to sign on. I totally understand and appreciate when a bud makes it clear that they can’t play at that level. It doesn’t happen often but sometimes it does. Recently one of my long time friends that I call a “go2″ called me on something. He mentioned that I’ve drifted a bit and that we don’t hang out enough. I owned it and promised to do the work he expected from me. Ouch! We discussed expectations and I shared that I wondered if I ask for too much out of friendships. He stated very clearly something I found profound at that moment. “Randi, you get what you put up with.”
I decided in my early 40′s that I wasn’t going to spend time on relationships where the other person wasn’t working on it with me. Granted sometimes one person works more than the other and vice-verse. As my fellow blogger stated, “I’m all for “forgive and forget” but euphoric recall can be a dangerous phenomenon.” People come and go out of our lives for reasons. And that’s truly OK sometimes. And when they return sometimes…it’s even better! I have a few incredible friendships that have evolved with old high school friends. I did have euphoric recall on those and they have evolved into deeper, more honest friendships. What a gift that’s been! To reconnect with someone who knows the old you at 14 and still likes the old you at 49.5! They can threaten to show old, goofy pictures of you with big purple hair and white go-go boots! How my Mom let me walk out of the house, I have really no clue!
A few other friendships haven’t panned out quite as well. On those, each time I’ve taken a deeper look into myself, I have found that I’ve ignored some of my own rules. You know…the equivalent of “fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” Fool me three times…I am just a freakin idiot! But it happens. Sometimes we remember something in a sparkleee way that just wasn’t so. And your friends and family will say…”remember that time when …or did you forget out this?” You look at them and have so many awesome reasons why that person, place or thing was absolutely innocent. Let’s face it, If we need help learning the same lesson over and over again, our Universe is more than happy to provide us with that opportunity.
Lesson learned, probably not. I’m still a work in progress. Trying to be a better version of myself everyday. I’ve kept myself in check, and my friends do that also with me. Occasionally I drift back and wonder…and then I remind myself…I’m right where I am supposed to be. So, if you find yourself drifting off…do as I do, LOL! Remind yourself when you do the euphoric recall thing to bitch slap yourself or give permission to another to do so! LOL!
Thanks for visiting and I hope you had a chuckle. You can subscribe to be notified when I blog below by signing up, follow me on Twitter @GatorgirlPress or Twitter @Diningduchess, follow me on Facebook @RandiAileenPress or Facebook@DiningDuchess. Or if you’d like to write me directly, my email is randi@52TO50.com.