Hey! Welcome to 52 weeks until I’m 50 years old! Actually it’s now 16 weeks until I’m 50! If you are new to my blog, to the right are other subjects I’ve written about. Some may resonate with you or at least give you a chuckle. If you are counting down with me…holy crap! I’m so old, I counted incorrectly! LOL! I rechecked my weeks and I’m 16 away from today! Math was never my strongest subject! Ha!

“Oh yes…wait a minute Mr. Postman…!” Remember that tune? I performed it with two other chicks in middle school in a talent show. Well, not really. They froze on stage and I sang it by myself and realized when I put the mic down afterwards that I said “Oh Shit!” for everyone in the audience to hear!

Ever write letters that were never sent? Better yet, ever write letters and forget that you sent them? This past weekend, I took a road trip from Orlando, after my Disney race, to Sarasota to visit a friend from the past. We went to Deerfield Beach Middle School together. I recently reconnected with her on Facebook. Yup. 33 years later. Haven’t seen or spoken to her since May 1976. This confirms my thoughts that there are no accidents.

You never really know how time has changed someone. Life experiences, loss, things you didn’t realize were part of the picture when you were in their lives years ago… You may even have had a profound effect on them an are unaware. I am also super grateful to my Mom who has kept lots of crap I use to have in my bedroom. She surprises me occasionally with manila envelopes containing pictures, letters and other reminders from my youth. I hid the important evidence elsewhere! LOL. The letters I’m referring to (for this blog) are to my middle school friend. And, yes, I just had to bring them on my trip. I decided not to read them ahead of time. Why? I quickly read one which was a poem about friendship and literally laughed my a** off. I’ve included it above in the images so you can read how truly bad it was! And, I figured it would be more fun to read them together. If I were going to be humiliated or embarrassed, it’s more fun to have a witness! Come on…I’m trying to be “fearless!” Is it working? LOL!

Fast forward or rewind… to last Sunday night, 11 pm. Two old friends on a couch reading March through May 1976 letters that were never sent. Tears from her remembering my “looking out for her.” Giggles from me as I listened to the regurgitation of my words over and over. I had two pages from one letter that beat the dead horse so many times…he was ground meat! We were howling at how I said the same thing over for all those pages on March 24th,1976! She said she felt sorry for my husband if I still beat the dead horse like that now! Ha! The letters were clear that we were headed to different high schools and I was feeling the shift in our friendship. It was so compelling to read my writing back then and see who I’ve become now. More interesting, to hear how she experienced my Mom and Dad. It was one of the most awesome times I’ve ever had reconnecting with my past. She shot me a few quick facial moves and there it was…that look from the past that connected the now. And, my constant giggling that reminded her of the old “machine gun” laugh I have when I find something funny. We filled each other in and laughed or teared during each others stories. It’s as if we never missed a beat.

I’m still able to fly my freak flag around her. She still can fly hers. For those who think Facebook is silly, it is. And it’s also so much more. It is a place to discover who you are now by sometimes reconnecting with the who you were then. I want to be found. I am not looking to be anonymous. I want to share letters unsent and feelings I forgot to share. I’m willing to take a chance! Damn it… I’m almost 50…”Oh Yes…Wait a minute Mr. Postman”…Oh screw that…just inbox your old pals! It’s so much faster!

Thanks for visiting and I hope you had a chuckle. You can subscribe to be notified when I blog below by signing up, follow me on Twitter @GatorgirlPress or Twitter @Diningduchess, follow me on Facebook @RandiAileenPress or Facebook@DiningDuchess. Or if you’d like to write me directly, my email is randi@52TO50.com.

Hey! Welcome to 52 weeks until I’m 50 years old! Actually it’s now 15 weeks until I’m 50! If you are new to my blog, to the right are other subjects I’ve written about. Some may resonate with you or at least give you a chuckle. If you are counting down with me…holy crap! I’m in the last quarter of the year! I’m so glad you are still with me!

“I said, upside down, you’re turnin’ me, inside out, round and round you’re turnin’ me.” Ever hear that song by Diana Ross? I started singing that in my head the other day after reading an article in Women’s Health. Or maybe Men’s Health. I read them both just in case. I don’t want to miss anything just because I am the female gender! Maybe the Men’s Health has secrets for things I should know? The article was “Turn Your Workout Upside Down.” Great! Just when I thought I had figured it all out and Tony Horton training DVDs have beaten the crap out of me, I have to stand on my head? Really…what else could the “they’s” come up with to inspire people like me? I wonder if anyone else tries the crazy stuff I do sometimes. So, do you?

Think 40 years ago Randi. Remember when you could do handstands and headstands with no problem? Did I actually just write 40 years ago? These inverted positions have been credited with banishing back pain and improving how well you breathe! Well hell yeh! If you are standing on your head, you have to figure out how to breathe at almost 50! I remember gravity boots. Hmmm. Richard Gere sported them in American Gigolo. You probably don’t remember because why would you? Who was looking at his boots? And if all this sounds like a head rush… it is! I decided to give it a go and put my mat down, “place the crown of my head on the floor,” legs straight and heels touching the wall. You thought I would try this without the wall first? I decided that my head wasn’t made to be on the floor, but it may have been made to wear a “crown!” LOL! Have to say…my back felt great for a moment. But most of all, the world looks pretty interesting upside down. My kids laughed at me and told me I was the weirdest creature alive. Mission accomplished! I continually live up to that description and proud of it. Normal isn’t something I want to have as an adjective describing me.

There are five perks of going upside down. Healthy heart (reversing issues like an abnormal heartbeat), strengthening your diaphragm because you have to control breathing, ease back pain as upside down takes pressure off the disks, zeros in on your core/abs and research shows that inversions can decrease your body’s fight-or-flight response which can beat stress. If I could just find a way to make the floor softer it might be worth it!

Not willing to stand on your head? I do dig the other option for toning abs…the hula hoop. And now I can’t get the tune…”You spin my head right round, right round when you go down, when you go down…” “Just Do It!” Whatever the “it” is and have fun. Live fearlessly and let me know if you tried something that I “Just Have To Do!”

Thanks for visiting and I hope you had a chuckle. You can subscribe to be notified when I blog below by signing up, follow me on Twitter @GatorgirlPress or Twitter @Diningduchess, follow me on Facebook @RandiAileenPress or Facebook@DiningDuchess. Or if you’d like to write me directly, my email is randi@52TO50.com.

Hey! Welcome to 52 weeks until I’m 50 years old! Actually it’s now 16 weeks until I’m 50! If you are new to my blog, to the right are other subjects I’ve written about. Some may resonate with you or at least give you a chuckle. If you are counting down with me…Wow! What the hell!!! This year has flown and I’m starting to freak a little but… I’m so glad you are still with me!

I believe that the Bee Gees captured how profound words can truly be. The lyrics to this song, while short and concise are so meaningful to me with 16 weeks left until 50. Words are not only words to me. Followed by actions, your words spoken or written can define you, give you purpose and sometimes even inspire others. “Talk in everlasting words and dedicate them all to me, and I will give you all my life, I’m here if you should call to me.You think that I don’t even mean a single word I say, it’s only words and words are all I have to take your heart away.”

Do you ever feel like there’s many words that define you? Not sure you would want the rest of the outside world to know these words describe you? I started wearing my freak flag outside of me a while ago because I wanted to use the word “fearless” more often. I also love the word “fanatic” so I decided I would like to resemble one of those as well! Ha! And, the words “direct” and “concise” are two of my favorites because if you know me…I can ramble on for quite a while when I want to share something. I’m detailed and that takes time to explain so you can “see” my story and experience it…not only hear it. Blah blah blah blah blah blah! Yup. I am also “acutely aware” of my love of using words to express myself. I have my actions but together…the power of words and the follow-up is more real than anything else I can share with you.

I am speaking generally when I say that I’m surprised at how quickly people use judgement and words to define others. I hear it often. See it in writing also. Words that define another who they may not even truly know. I was horrified recently when I read a post by someone on Facebook that used the platform to slander another. I decided that day to no longer be part of that friendship and to share once again that I look for the positives in another or simply keep my mouth shut. Sometimes it’s a challenge to keep quiet but I find biting my lower lip is a great tool! And, afterwards I always feel better that I refrained. I mention that I don’t feel the same way so my silence isn’t supporting the others judgement. On the flip side, I am profoundly moved when I witness public admiration/love through words for another whether it’s in business or a personal relationship. I find myself moved and teary eyed. No, it’s not menopause and hormones although I am sure for others that may be true. It’s the realization that now is the time to say what we need to say and not wait any longer. Life is precious. Time is fleeting. I am almost 50 damn it! LOL. And, although I smile constantly and I’m filled with joy, I am fearless and will tell you how I feel…just in case.

So, if we haven’t caught up in a while or you catch me in person, I’m going to use my words…because words are all I have to take your heart away…

Thanks for visiting and I hope you had a chuckle. You can subscribe to be notified when I blog below by signing up, follow me on Twitter @GatorgirlPress or Twitter @Diningduchess, follow me on Facebook @RandiAileenPress or Facebook@DiningDuchess. Or if you’d like to write me directly, my email is randi@52TO50.com.

Hey! Welcome to 52 weeks until I’m 50 years old! Actually it’s now 24 weeks until I’m 50! If you are new to my blog, to the right are other subjects I’ve written. Some may resonate with you or at least give you a chuckle. If you are counting down with me…Wow! Half the year is already gone! I’m starting to freak a little but… I’m so glad you are still with me!

“You wanna play rough? Okay. Say hello to my little friend!” Tony Montana, aka Scarface, screams this as he blasts the door with his “little friend.” I love Al and the movie. So many great scenes! I kid around and say that line with an accent and give friends a chuckle from time to time. I have never really felt like I had “Scarface” in me before. I am generally a warm, critter-loving chick. However, this last trip to the “forest,” I was called upon to use some good strong Tony Montana language and be a little Scarface!

When I visit Sapphire Valley, NC every year, I stay in the forest. Fairway Forest. It’s incredibly beautiful in a rustic sense. The town homes and villas literally are built inside the forest. That’s what makes the location so appealing to me. I mention how rustic it is to my fellow travelers when they agree to visit with me. But, it never fails. The response is always the same when they begin to see the wildlife and critters that appear before their eyes and also inside their quarters. I am always summoned to be Tony Montana, aka Scarface.

I am one with nature and being called upon to be the assassin causes turmoil inside me. I believe in sharing space with my fellow critters. Yes, even the ones I don’t especially care for like snakes. To protect the anonymity of one of my fellow travelers, we will call her, Gina Montana, Tony’s sister. Gina doesn’t like many critters. Especially the ones that share space inside the townhouse in the forest. Gina called upon me to “get rid of” a unique critter I fondly have come to call “crider.” Remember sniglets? Defined by American comedian Rich Hall as “a word that doesn’t appear in a dictionary but should.” Yup. Crider.

Crider was something that looked like a cross between a very large spider and a cricket. He, I am guessing it was a he, was quietly walking the wall on the way down to the master bedroom where I was staying for the week. Not Gina. She was upstairs nowhere near the crider. That didn’t matter. I was summoned to be Scarface and take him out. I clearly shared that I thought this creature wouldn’t hurt anyone. There was chattering and the other natives loudly said, “crider has to go!” I really wrestled with having to pull my 5 inch, M-16 assault rifle shoe out to do the deed. I looked up again at the others, apologized for what I was about to do and in one quick move I said, “goodbye to my little friend!” Clean up was not particularly pleasant and I felt sad that I had become an assassin for the others. I have been told at times that I am fearless. I never see myself that way. I’m 5 foot 2 inches on a good day when I have my hair poofed up. But, it is true that very little really catches me off guard. I love the forest, hiking deep into the woods, listening for waterfalls and watching wildlife move all around me. I can smell scents and see movement well before others. I keep a sharp eye out and have everything anyone could possibly need in my backpack other than a toilet. Yes, I carry wipes and a Ziploc because there are no bathrooms while hiking all day. Assassin, aka Scarface. How could I live with myself? The crider was so freakin cool looking! I have had a nightmare now that because I took him out, I have criders crawling on me. Yeh…that’s how it works when you aren’t really good being the assassin!

Heading into the Great Smoky Mountain National Park I had to stop. There he was with four females around him…the big elk. He could barely keep his head up from the weight of his antlers. I stepped onto the meadow in pure amazement of this creature. He just stayed comfortably on the ground glancing over my way. Eye contact. He took my breath away. I waited patiently for him to stand so I could be in complete awe but I believe that his rack was so heavy he just decided to rest while my gaze was upon him. Now many others were in awe as well. We all just stood there. 50 feet away. There were black bears, more elk, snakes, deer and bunnies all within feet of us this trip. I never once thought about being harmed in any way around those creatures. I am sharing space with them. It’s amazing how just after 5 pm the animals put on a live show if you are willing to be in the forest with them.

The night after my visit with the big elk, I had dinner at one of my favorite places, The Game Keeper Tavern. Funny that I cherish this place since I don’t eat anything with four legs. I love that you can sit outside on the back porch on a summer night and they have blankets for you. It’s a large log cabin with the most wonderful food. Very unique offerings. On the menu is everything from the food chain imaginable. That evening, kangaroo was the special. I asked what it tastes like and the answer was “it starts out like steak and finishes like seafood.” That poor Joey! I had a salad!

I arrived home and once again feel myself missing my hikes and the natural zoo of the Pisgah National Forest, the Gorges State Park, the Great Smoky Mountains and the Blue Ridge Mountains. I miss the sound of the waterfalls I chase after and the butterflies flying around me. The moss growing on the rocks and the mist in the air. I loved being rained on while whitewater rafting and the guide throwing the yellow rope pretending there was a snake in the raft. I am back running the swamps of South Florida connecting with my gators, snakes, birds, armadillo and turtles. It’s a different kind of live zoo but I’m sharing space just the same.

Thanks for visiting and I hope you had a chuckle. You can subscribe to be notified when I blog below by signing up, follow me on Twitter @GatorgirlPress or Twitter @Diningduchess, follow me on Facebook @RandiAileenPress or Facebook@DiningDuchess. Or if you’d like to write me directly, my email is randi@52TO50.com.

Hey! Welcome to 52 weeks until I’m 50 years old! Actually it’s now 28 weeks until I’m 50! If you are new to my blog, to the right are other subjects I’ve written. Some may resonate with you or at least give you a chuckle. If you are counting down with me…Wow! I can’t believe how fast the weeks are flying and I’m so glad you are still with me!

Ever heard of euphoric recall? Better yet, ever had it? Not sure? Let me explain just in case you aren’t sure. If you now what I mean…you’ll take a deep breath and think…yes, been there! Euphoric recall is when you remember all the positive experiences associated with a person, place or thing rather than the negative experiences. I found it rather eerie that I started to write a blog about this and found a fellow blogger did the same. He stated, “I don’t know whether it is the moon cycle, or if some planet is in retrograde, or WTF is going on, but it seems that everyone in my life is suffering from euphoric recall right now.” I find that true in my life as well.

Heading toward my 50th birthday, I’ve looked back more than a few times to see what I thought I may have left behind, friendships I didn’t attend to and what I may have blown up along the way! I am a fairly low maintenance kind of girl. I don’t require very much in the way of “needing” from others. I believe that almost all of my meaningful relationships are very balanced. I also have some really fantastic acquaintances that are working at becoming great friends. I tease some of my text buds, specifically one, that she’s hanging out with the “competition” when I don’t hear from her. The tease is based on her consistency. When she isn’t consistent, I text that and we have a laugh. The “competition” is another friend of hers that I actually have as an acquaintance and am quite fond of. Sometimes I struggle though. I don’t spend time on superficial relationships or at a surface level. I’ve never been good at that. I wear my feelings on my sleeve…and on my face so that really doesn’t work. Plus, I am blatantly honest. So, if you plan on being one of my friends or in my inner circle, there’s a level of consistent work involved. I make that pretty clear as you learn me, that way you know what you are signing on for in advance. And, it’s OK if you don’t want to sign on. I totally understand and appreciate when a bud makes it clear that they can’t play at that level. It doesn’t happen often but sometimes it does. Recently one of my long time friends that I call a “go2″ called me on something. He mentioned that I’ve drifted a bit and that we don’t hang out enough. I owned it and promised to do the work he expected from me. Ouch! We discussed expectations and I shared that I wondered if I ask for too much out of friendships.  He stated very clearly something I found profound at that moment. “Randi, you get what you put up with.”

I decided in my early 40′s that I wasn’t going to spend time on relationships where the other person wasn’t working on it with me. Granted sometimes one person works more than the other and vice-verse. As my fellow blogger stated, “I’m all for “forgive and forget” but euphoric recall can be a dangerous phenomenon.” People come and go out of our lives for reasons. And that’s truly OK sometimes. And when they return sometimes…it’s even better! I have a few incredible friendships that have evolved with old high school friends. I did have euphoric recall on those and they have evolved into deeper, more honest friendships. What a gift that’s been! To reconnect with someone who knows the old you at 14 and still likes the old you at 49.5! They can threaten to show old, goofy pictures of you with big purple hair and white go-go boots! How my Mom let me walk out of the house, I have really no clue!

A few other friendships haven’t panned out quite as well. On those, each time I’ve taken a deeper look into myself, I have found that I’ve ignored some of my own rules. You know…the equivalent of “fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.” Fool me three times…I am just a freakin idiot! But it happens. Sometimes we remember something in a sparkleee way that just wasn’t so. And your friends and family will say…”remember that time when …or did you forget out this?” You look at them and have so many awesome reasons why that person, place or thing was absolutely innocent. Let’s face it,  If we need help learning the same lesson over and over again, our Universe is more than happy to provide us with that opportunity.

Lesson learned, probably not. I’m still a work in progress. Trying to be a better version of myself everyday. I’ve kept myself in check, and my friends do that also with me. Occasionally I drift back and wonder…and then I remind myself…I’m right where I am supposed to be. So, if you find yourself drifting off…do as I do, LOL! Remind yourself when you do the euphoric recall thing to bitch slap yourself or give permission to another to do so! LOL!

Thanks for visiting and I hope you had a chuckle. You can subscribe to be notified when I blog below by signing up, follow me on Twitter @GatorgirlPress or Twitter @Diningduchess, follow me on Facebook @RandiAileenPress or Facebook@DiningDuchess. Or if you’d like to write me directly, my email is randi@52TO50.com.

Hey! Welcome to 52 weeks until I’m 50 years old! Actually it’s now 30 weeks until I’m 50! If you are new to my blog, to the right are other subjects I’ve written. Some may resonate with you or at least give you a chuckle. If you are counting down with me…Wow! I can’t believe how fast the weeks are flying and I’m so glad you are still with me!

I am more certain than ever that people want to relate to one another. A few weeks ago I returned from 17 days in Europe. I visited Italy, Turkey and Greece. In preparation, I had studied up on the three languages and was armed with my little black book of phrases for each city we were visiting. I find that even if I try a little to speak the language, that goes a long way with the people. In Rome, my husband and I jumped on a trolley to visit the Vatican. Unlike many other cities abroad, there weren’t any visuals that illustrated where we had begun and where to exit for the Vatican. We asked out loud, “Can anyone tell us what stop the Vatican is?” Not a single person answered. We asked a little louder. We heard a response with directions to help us out. It was in English, not Italian. Three of us start to hysterically laugh as we realized that two Americans are receiving directions in Rome to the Vatican from an Irishman. And so our adventure begins with a good laugh as always.

While traveling on the trolley ride back to our neighborhood in Roma, we had lively interaction with four Italian women. I can call it dialogue but it was more like hand gestures, sharing iPhone videos and pictures to communicate. The mother asked if we were American. We answered yes. When she  realized we weren’t from England, she acted out a funny imitation of an English woman. We all chuckled. We asked where she was from and she proudly answered “Sicily.” I broke out an iPhone video of my buddy singing while making pizza. I told her he was Sicilian. Her eyes lit up. We asked one another about musicians, movie stars and the president. It was hilarious. The same type of interaction followed for the next two weeks. Wherever I was, when I asked a person about their home country, the answers were similar. “My homeland is the most beautiful as are the people.” Stojan from Serbia glowed when he spoke about home and the women. Our guide from Istanbul shared his love of Turkey even though there were demonstrations while we visited. Joanna from Mykonos glowed as she bragged about her mother’s location for 40 years being the best in Greece. She wouldn’t bargain and mentioned we would remember her and the quality of the clothes because they were the “best!” She was right. I did. A street vendor in Capri was sure to tell me that I will never see a more beautiful place in all the world then the Isle of Capri. I am convinced he could be correct.

Ten years ago I ran the Marine Corp Marathon. I ran it because I wanted to pass all the monuments on the race course. I also wanted to run along side of men and women who continually guard my freedom. I love DC and the way I feel when I am surrounded by history. I love my country.  I realize that more each time I return to her. Five years ago I finally visited Lady Liberty. I was blown away with her beauty. Seeing the Statue of Liberty as you arrive via ferry is overwhelming. She’s absolutely breathtaking. Many Americans have never visited her. I have visited Niagara Falls, one of the most beautiful wonders of the world. The power of the water is incredible to watch and listen to while breathing in the beauty. All of our National Parks, the Grand Canyon and the Hoover Dam are extraordinary. The California Pacific Coast Highway is a must see. Try driving around the Appalachian Mountains for a trip along the scenic Blue Ridge Parkway, which runs through Virginia, North Carolina and into Tennessee. There are 469 miles, the drive connects two national parks—Great Smoky Mountains National Park in Tennessee and Shenandoah National Park in Virginia. What a time you will have breathing in the beauty and the fresh air. There is Red Rock in Arizona. No words describe that. There’s so much to see here! The Golden Gate Bridge, Ellis Island, Mount Rushmore, the Liberty Bell, the Washington Monument and Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool just to share a few. I am in awe of the United States and all her beauty. Sometimes we forget. We get caught up in all that’s wrong with the system, politics and the never-ending minutia we hear. But today, take a moment to step back with me. Breathe in our beautiful country…All of our liberties. Know that being free is so much bigger than we realize sometimes. The cost has been huge. I am grateful for so many things. Today and for many more, Let Freedom Ring.

O beautiful for spacious skies, For amber waves of grain, For purple mountain majesties above the fruited plain…America! America! God shed his grace on thee and crown thy good with brotherhood
from sea to shining sea! America! America! God shed his grace on thee and crown thy good with brotherhood from sea to shining sea! Wishing you a safe and peaceful 4th of July.

Thanks for visiting and I hope you had a chuckle. You can subscribe to be notified when I blog below by signing up, follow me on Twitter @GatorgirlPress or Twitter @Diningduchess, follow me on Facebook @RandiAileenPress or Facebook@DiningDuchess. Or if you’d like to write me directly, my email is randi@52TO50.com.

Hey! Welcome to 52 weeks until I’m 50 years old! Actually it’s now 31 weeks until I’m 50! If you are new to my blog, to the right are other subjects I’ve written. Some may resonate with you or at least give you a chuckle. If you are counting down with me…Wow! I can’t believe how fast the weeks are flying and I’m so glad you are still with me!

I am a huge fan of the Miami HEAT. Been for 25 years. I’m super grateful because I’ve met and chatted with many of my favorite players over the last few years. If you’ve read an earlier blog below, you’ll remember how I babbled on with Shane Battier, the Duke of Defense!

In October 2012, my 60-inch TV blew. I told my husband I wanted to purchase a projector and screen to create my “court-side seats” in our great room which includes my kitchen and a cafe area. He looked at me like I had two heads. Having a 102″ screen will make you happy…I promise. Did my research, had a few specialist out and by mid-October, Al from Sound Waves was installing my big screen, Direct & Apple TV for me. Oh yeh…this experience is “immersive.”  I love my GATOR football, the NY Giants (a fan through my hubby but I also love watching the anywhere my Gator football players wind up), my HEAT and GATOR basketball…all my teams games are downloaded to my outlook schedule. Looking back…counting it down, the finals were more than basketball games. They were scrapbook moments for me.

The season may be over but my friendships grew deeper than ever. As much as I looked forward to any heat game,  I couldn’t wait to celebrate whatever happened with my core group of friends both virtual and in person. You know who you nuts are. They are passionate creatures. Weirdos to the core. And I love them with all my heart! Feelings for our team members run deep. When they lose, it’s painful. When they win, we are elated! And we are not social during the games. We are dedicated, focused fanatics. We argue out loud with refs, announcers and of course, one another!

I traveled through Europe for 17 days during the semi-finals. Updates on Viper, KIK and Facebook from friends during the semi-finals were keeping me in the loop. It was driving them and me nuts that I was 7 hours ahead and texting at 3 am. We weren’t watching at “Press Sports Bar” on the immersive 102″ screen…coaching them, yelling, jumping out of our seats screaming, cursing, hi-fiving our players every move court-side! And then came the finals. Our core group added friends, family and anyone who wanted to bring food! Ha! We were ridiculous. Our consistent behaviors…My father-in-law only wore black shorts under his jeans and would take them off at the beginning of the fourth quarter. My mother-in-law sat in the same seat all season and through the finals in her red HEAT shirt. My husband wore his grey washed out team shirt with the spots …I didn’t want to throw it out because I’m superstitious. I wore my white Old Navy lounge pants with my black sparkleee custom-made HEAT shirt and sat in the same seat…knee bent, eyes glued arguing with the refs making the calls. My kids would wander in and out while watching us argue during different plays. My buddy Zo, sneakers off, socks on, sitting Indian style next to our friend bones…a silly full length skeleton I just never put away from Halloween because we kept adding funny phrases while watching the games! “I can feel the win in my bones…”  And of course my other homey’s Ron and Dorothy who were present for some really crazy games like the come from behind Cleveland win during our streak watching the one game at BRU’s Room while the place totally erupted. 

I realized long ago how ridiculous and superstitions I was. I saw it in my core HEAT buds this year especially! I was exhausted from the finals. You would have thought I played on the team! My knee hurt from being bent, I lost my voice, my emotions were all over the place. I couldn’t sleep after the games even when they won! I was disgusted by the refs choice of calls. Who was going to guard Parker? Was Duncan ever going to miss? And…for heaven sake…don’t let shooting guard Kawhi Leonard shoot damn it! I wondered at times when my HEAT players were going to “flip the switch” and show me what I knew was there all along.

We had an amazing season, our 27 game streak, the come from behind Cleveland win, the Pacer series without our core group being together….and all the silly things we made up and did! Bones, skipping around my house, Magic Ass…that’s a whole story for another time! Sharing good food and moments for my virtual scrapbook that always left me with a big smile! I embraced my homey’s and family with hundreds of hugs and kisses. We realized our loyalty towards our team and one another… talking on the phone during games when we were in different places and texting until our fingers hurt or started to bleed. I don’t know about you, but I felt the HEAT! I am proud of how they behaved during the season, before and after the games and they never began an interview without sharing that the Spurs were a class act. We aren’t only sizzling here because of the temperature…We are proud to be celebrating the HEAT!

Thanks for visiting and I hope you had a chuckle. You can subscribe to be notified when I blog below by signing up, follow me on Twitter @GatorgirlPress or Twitter @Diningduchess, follow me on Facebook @RandiAileenPress or Facebook@DiningDuchess. Or if you’d like to write me directly, my email is randi@52TO50.com.

Hey! Welcome to 52 weeks until I’m 50 years old! Actually it’s now 37 weeks until I’m 50! If you are new to my blog, to the right are other subjects I’ve written. Some may resonate with you or at least give you a chuckle. If you are counting down with me,so glad you are still with me!

A year or more ago, one of my very best friends Michael was laughing with me about getting old. I mentioned that when I go visit my grandmother who is 102, I leave shaking my head. I want to live a long, healthy life as she has, but I definitely don’t want to be where she is now. I call it the “dark side.” Not that it isn’t a lovely place. It is. Caring people are there to watch over her. I walk down this hallway to see her. I have to be buzzed in and folks there want to follow me out. Alarms sometimes go off. I mentioned to Michael how I find most of the residents dozing in chairs while others are chattering on with no one listening. I giggle and tell him that I see the two of us there with our spouses, a few other friends and that I hope I am unaware if he dozes off while I’m gabbing away! He asked me where my Anne lived. I tell him Deerfield. He then asked me the name of the place. I started to laugh. I said, “Do you think after all these conversations that it’s possible that our Grandmother’s live together on the “dark side?” We both started to laugh and sure enough, they did!

Over the last year, he has visited what he calls the “Nana’s” often. He sends pictures to me of his visits with my Grandmother Anne and of his beautiful Grandmother also. He’s bumped into my Mother there and has taken photos with her also! She’s the good one. She visits several times a week. He’s taunted me in a fun, caring way to get over and see the Nana’s. I must have 15 pictures of him with my Anne. She adores him! But, I haven’t been able to bring myself to visit Anne for a while. When she lived down the street from me, I would take her food shopping every week. We did lunch. She complained about getting in my small car at one point, and then complained about stepping up into my big truck also. She was feisty. She was beautiful. I would be in the elevator with her and it never failed, some older gentleman would always start-up a conversation. She had a swagger in her walk. She was tough. Constantly correcting my grammar if I misspoke. It must have been the grammar school teacher in her. She introduced me to the beauty of jewelry. Probably one of the things I could have done without. She had season tickets to the Jackie Gleason Theater and took me to see all the shows. She had fantastic seats! She made me work around her scheduled evenings between bingo, cards, shows and dates. She was married three times and often shared advice about men which I still chuckle now when I think back. So why can’t I go to the “dark side” more often?

I forced myself to visit today for a few reasons. I wanted to take my own mental pictures of her. I wanted to remind myself how to live today in the present moment and not miss anything. I wanted to spend a few minutes with the woman who expected so much from me. I miss seeing her. Even though she is “not what she use to be.” That’s her line, she is still here at 102, locked in, down the aisle on the “dark side.” Up until a few years ago, she still had her faculties. Now, she’s a shell of the tough, direct woman I grew up loving. When I walked into the lunch room, I saw her clapping. That’s her new thing. She never stops. It drives the other residents nuts. It could be worse, she could be yelling or cursing. Clapping is a good thing. She hums also. I guess that’s where I get my love of the music inside me. When her eyes looked up in the lunch room, she knew I was there for her. Somewhere, in her long-term memory, she remembered something about me. Maybe the smile I smile shows a goofiness when I feel sad but don’t want to show it. It took all I had not to tear up seeing her. While she ate, I wandered over to the other lunch room and there was Michael’s Grandmother. She’s beautiful. I introduced myself and pulled out my phone to show her the pictures of her grandson, his wife and me. We chatted. She had such a grand smile and I felt all warm and mushy after our time together. Snap, we took a picture and captured that moment. Of course I couldn’t wait to send it to him and say “nah nah nah nah nah! I’m here!”

I looked around again as I walked down the “dark side” hallway to exit with the special code. I took a deep breath and reminded myself that life can be long sometimes. If I’m going to be one of the residents in the “dark side,” I’m going to want some serious fun there. None of that pudding crap. Make it creme brulee. And, I want to wear bright clothes that don’t match so my friends can still see me through their old eyes. It would be nice to have a great roommate who didn’t complain or snore. I hope by then there are colored Depends so they won’t be so boring to wear. And, I hope that my buddies decide to live where I do so we can still make each other laugh when we can’t remember our names. But most of all, I’d like to still clap, laugh and smile at everyone like Anne does. She makes the “dark side” a little brighter.

Thanks for visiting and I hope you had a chuckle. You can subscribe to be notified when I blog below by signing up, follow me on Twitter @GatorgirlPress or Twitter @Diningduchess, follow me on Facebook @RandiAileenPress or Facebook@DiningDuchess. Or if you’d like to write me directly, my email is randi@52TO50.com.

Hey! Welcome to 52 weeks until I’m 50 years old! Actually it’s now 39 weeks until I’m 50! If you are new to my blog, to the right are other subjects I’ve written. Some may resonate with you or at least give you a chuckle. If you are counting down with me,so glad you are still with me!

Remember how you felt in your 20′s? School, work, maybe married and looking for a first home? You cared about what people thought and felt about you. Then 30 arrived. Maybe a kid or two and less time for yourself. More time trying to meet the needs of others. Lots of people telling you how to raise the rugrats. Opinions everywhere around you while you carefully maneuvered through a sea of weddings, birthday parties and other events that were exhausting. You dreamed about sleep with no interruptions just for an hour. I was running around so much between work, kids and life events that I can barely remember much of my 30′s. I actually feel OK about that. I found a slight  relief in caring a bit less about how others judged me. And then my 40′s arrived. a kaleidoscope of memories. Bright moments, vivid experiences and a keen realization that this is the best it will ever be. This very moment. Now. I find myself motivated by “f” words. Fierce and fearless. What do I mean? I feel like I have this big voice inside me reminding me to be “fearless about experiences I want to have, the people I want to have them with and blatant honesty to tell them I’m scared shitless but doing it anyway. I want to be fierce and love my family, friends and the life I lead in a big way. Being fierce is an emotion or action that shows a heartfelt and powerful intensity. I dig intensity. A close friend once told me that I have a calm intensity about me. I have grown to like that observation. I make agreements with myself about how intense I can be. One specifically is that I will not just pass through this life. My Mom and Dad always say to me that I burn the candle at both ends and that I should slow down. I simply say back, “I’ll have plenty of time to relax and rest when I’m dead. My life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid or slam in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly screaming and laughing — WOO HOO– What a Ride!”

I read an article this week about The Art of Fearlessness. The lifelong battle most of us have dealing with empowerment versus insecurity, calm versus anxiety, positive versus negative and the judgments others continually make about us. Like the writer, I used to think therapy might help me solve some things. But now, instead, I work from the inside out. I find power in my outlook towards the world using my own tools. I follow my instincts. I follow my gut feelings. Most of all, I am still willing to admit that I am a work in progress. That’s a forever thing. What reminds me that I can be “fierce and fearless” with 39 weeks left until I’m 50? When I was working for the Hazelden Foundation, I read many books and poems. I stumbled upon something I have kept with me since 1995. It reminds me of exactly how to be “fierce and fearless.” The poem focuses on integrity and honesty to oneself. I share it hoping that you may feel the same way about it as I do. The male version is here for you also, http://www.theguyintheglass.com/gig.htm

“When you get what you want in your struggle for self, and the world makes you queen for a day, just go to a mirror and look at yourself, and see what that Gal has to say. For it isn’t your husband or family or friend – whose judgement upon you must pass. The gal whose verdict counts most in your life is the one staring back from the glass. Some people may think you a straight shooting chum and call you a person of place, but the Gal in the glass says you’re only a bum if you can’t look her straight in the face. She’s the one to please – never mind all the rest, for she’s with you clear up to the end. Any you’ve passed your most dangerous, difficult test, if the Gal in the glass is YOUR FRIEND.You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years, and get pats on your back as you pass, but your final reward – will be heartaches and tears, if you’ve cheated THE GAL in the GLASS…….”

Thanks for visiting and I hope you had a chuckle. You can subscribe to be notified when I blog below by signing up, follow me on Twitter @GatorgirlPress or Twitter @Diningduchess, follow me on Facebook @RandiAileenPress or Facebook@DiningDuchess. Or if you’d like to write me directly, my email is randi@52TO50.com.

Hey! Welcome to 52 weeks until I’m 50 years old! Actually it’s now 40 weeks until I’m 50! If you are new to my blog, to the right are other subjects I’ve written. Some may resonate with you or at least give you a chuckle. If you are counting down with me,so glad you are still with me!

Sometimes we see ourselves differently than others. I often check my own barometer to see if I’m still a fairly low maintenance girl. Don’t misunderstand, I enjoy a good 5-star experience but a few nights under the stars can remind one of how to stay grounded!

Several years ago an old friend from high school reconnected with me on Facebook. One of our common threads is seeing live music. This friend had mentioned the Wanee Festival to me the last three years stating that it was an experience beyond all experiences. A “must do” for me. I wanted to attend but wasn’t sure the scene was for me. I went to the website. I checked out the forums. Should I be a “Wanee Virgin…a first-timer? Could I handle four nights and three days of continuous music in Live Oak, Florida? The festival is held on part of a camp ground that has over 700 acres of land with three miles on the Suwanee River bank-side. There’s primitive camping, slots for RV’s and a few hotels in the area. There’s two stages where bands play, the Mushroom and the Peach. The line up of music has tempted me for years. So Randi, are you going to pull the trigger this year and make it happen? Come on woman…only 41 weeks left until 50 years old. If not now girl, then when? It’s not like the Allman Brothers are getting any younger and neither are you! When I was younger, I camped. When I was younger, I could go a day without a shower. When I was younger, I could sleep anywhere. I’ve run marathons and had to make pit stops in the woods. What are you made of girl? What are you afraid of? You can do this, right?

More questions entered my thoughts as the event approached. A few voice mails with a taunting voice singing “Waneeeee” had me laughing and negotiating with myself. Could I be totally immersed in this music festival with 21,000 other people from Thursday evening until Sunday morning? Could I sleep in a tent under the stars with all that Mother Nature created? Could I be my most natural self? No make-up, no shower or toilet without a line, no refrigerator with an iced cold beverage of my choice. 357 miles away from all the comforts of home. Hmmm. Check off the box? Purchase the ticket? Make it happen Randi? Create another entry in your virtual scrapbook? Make a few new memories with an old friend? The answer came on a walk with my husband. He said, “Do what you love. Life is about being the person you are…you seek these experiences.”

Created my list, packed my truck and took off with my eyes wide open, freshly bathed. Four hours later I was sitting under the most beautiful Oak trees dripping with green leaves listening to music that made my heart filled with joy and watching an intense laser light show! Friday’s line up was beyond exciting. 12 hours of music, six standing in the rain with my yellow slicker on. I was determined to hear the Allman Brothers close the show at midnight. I was wet and cold! And, I survived. My rain slicker did not. Neither did my clothes. I toughed it out. I returned to my tent only to find a group of mosquitoes looking for dinner from all the rain. I made a decision at that moment to sleep in my Sequoia. I had taken the third row of seats out before leaving home and could tilt the second row up to leave well beyond five feet of sleeping area. Two layers of sleeping bags, one layer of a college comforter, two pillows and dry clothes, this chick was set. I dipped into my stash of comfort treats for some Twizzlers and a Vitamin Zero. Washed my face with wipes and off to sleep I went. Nine hours later I awoke to the most glorious day filled with sunshine.

Day three, completely immersed, I found my truest self. I can’t articulate well what happened that day but at some point I found a peace inside myself that had been hiding for a while. An easiness I had been looking for. There were many people I chatted with over the three days. Everyone was so kind to one another. I felt so connected. People danced, sang, swayed and hung their freak flags out together. There was no judging, no arguing, no pushing or shoving. At times I found myself with tears running down my cheeks as I listened to guitar solos. I looked over and saw the same happening to others around me. There were moments when I laughed at myself because I had my groove on and I didn’t care what it looked like. There were conversations with others that were raw and uncensored about what we were witnessing. I met a new friend, Leann, who traveled by herself this first time and was having the same moment I was while we sat on a picnic bench. We were meant to meet each other. Of that I am certain. There we were, looking at the stage from way in the back having a drink just soaking up the day. We saw the swaying of a thousand bodies. It was an overwhelming visual. Beach balls being bounced in the air, Frisbee’s being thrown, women doing the hula hoop around their hips and the “Sound of Sunshine” playing. I introduced her to a bathroom with a door. It’s amazing how grateful you can be for something that simple. We exchanged contact information and remained connected.

Long talks and storytelling late at night by the RV’s with old and new friends, laughter that filled the air, lights in the trees that sparkled as people swayed in their hammocks are forever etched in my memory. Raw and uncensored. There I was, day three, Wanee girl. I made it. And, Wanee is in me. I am forever changed. So when you are at crossroad trying to make a decision about what is ahead of you, ”Do what you love. Life is about being the person you are…seek those experiences.” Pull the trigger and bathe first!

Thanks for visiting and I hope you had a chuckle. You can subscribe to be notified when I blog below by signing up, follow me on Twitter @GatorgirlPress or Twitter @Diningduchess, follow me on Facebook @RandiAileenPress or Facebook@DiningDuchess. Or if you’d like to write me directly, my email is randi@52TO50.com.